Eclectic Christian

by Joshua Hearne

It was 2:45 AM. I had been called to the Hospitality Room of the Intensive Care Unit. I was bleary eyed and I had mistakenly put on navy pants with my black jacket and white dress shirt. I had received the call at about 1:45 AM and had rushed to get dressed and get down to the hospital. My navy-black recognition skills aren’t good to begin with. Throw in the darkness of night and sleep-deprived eyes and it’s pretty much random. I had taken off my jacket and stashed it in the office. Dress pants and shirt would be good enough. So, after checking in with the family in the hospitality room, I ducked out to get a cup of coffee and check on the patient with the doctors and nurses down the hall. On my way back, I noticed that one of the cleaning-guys was waxing the floor.

I leaned against the wall next to a guy who was watching the floor-waxer.

“I wonder if they wax the floors in Orthopedics…” I remarked. He laughed at my lame joke. I’m still not sure if it was a pity laugh but I’m guessing it was. As a chaplain, I usually appreciated the pity laugh. After all, I was just trying to break the ice, usually. It doesn’t have to be funny, it just has to be conversation.

“You can wax the floor in such a way that it isn’t slippery” he said to me. Over the next 10 minutes, he proceeded to teach me about how to wax a floor correctly. I needed to give the family in the Hospitality Room time alone. Time alone is an important part of the grieving process and the process of preparation for death. It gives them time to grow together and talk openly.

“You seem to know something about floor waxing” I replied to the man.

“It’s what I do. I’m a janitor and floor waxer over at Barrasons. Look at the way he moves that waxer. He’s sliding it back and forth but he’s not getting the edges.” He remarked. He continued, “He’s not doing a very good job.”

“Not many people will notice around here.” I offered.

“But he should notice. I don’t see how he can do his job that way” he questioned. He looked me in the eyes and said, “I know that it’s only waxing floors but when something is your job, you should do it as best as you can. Right?”

I nodded numbly and felt as if either he had just said something important or he was getting ready to do so.

“It may not be important work but it is the work that you do. Why do anything if you’re just going to cut corners? Why live if you’re just looking for the easy way out?” He questioned.

I didn’t have an answer but I considered all the times I had felt unappreciated in my position as chaplain. I asked, “So who are you looking for around here?”

“I’m part of this group in this room” he stated. He indicated the Hospitality room. “I just can’t be in there right now. That’s my father that’s dying down there.”

Now, it felt like I needed to say something. “It’s okay to be scared of this. It’s okay to be upset about it. You have every right to feel the way you’re feeling. But for every blessing in our life, there is the fear of losing it. You cannot feel great without knowing that there may be a time when it’s no longer there. If your father dies tonight, it will be a sad thing. And you will, and should, grieve. But this grief is not something to avoid by standing in a hallway and refusing to feel it. Instead, I remind you that living life by cutting corners is hardly a way to live. Grief is a terrible and painful thing but it is part of our experience. It’s tough but you will not go through it alone. I have faith that God cares about our sufferings so much that even when it was God’s right and privilege to avoid pain, suffering, and death… God chose it. God didn’t cut the corners then and understands how you feel, tonight.”

He nodded. He cried a little. He gave me a hug. He went into the Hospitality Room.

His father died that night. The family grieved. They grieved well for a beloved father. They didn’t cut corners. They lived.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 4th, 2008 at 9:51 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.