by Joshua Hearne
Everybody has had “one of those days.” It must just be part of the human condition. I had one such “long day” a while back. It had started when I woke up an hour after my alarm had been set for. There is something uniquely awful about the feeling of looking at the clock when it is telling you that you’ve woken up late. Of course, you never get ready faster than when you have only ten minutes in which to get ready in.
After getting ready quickly, I headed out to the hospital to do my shift in Pastoral Care. On that day, I didn’t sit down. I didn’t even get to sit down to eat my lunch. Actually, I only got to eat half of my lunch and I had to eat that while going from one emergency to another. I was kicked out of a room at 1:30 because I had interrupted some little old lady’s “stories.” I learned, on that day, that visitation during “Days of our Lives” is a mistake. I responded to two heart attacks and one multiple vehicle crash in the ER. None of the families were what you might call nice. It’s hard to hold that against them since they were in the emergency room because of a relative but I’ve seen nicer folks among people in worse straits. I had visited all 6 families that I had previously visited in the ICU. I was present as two older people died and watched over the family and prayed with them. By the end of 8 hours, I was frazzled and emotionally drained. A chaplain may see many deaths,but they never get used to it. Death may become an acquaintance, but never a friend.
After my shift, I went home to get a shower and grab a bite to eat. As I was eating, I noticed that I was late for another activity that I had committed to attending. When I got to the church to spend time with the people, I discovered that they weren’t in a very good mood. Some of them had been talking about a particular theological position that they were against. I, actually, saw some merit in the position. As I, foolishly, tried to defend it to multiple people who had already decided that it was stupid and so were its supporters, I realized that this wouldn’t end well. Several hours later, my Christianity had been questioned. My faith had been doubted. My character had been accused. My integrity had been assaulted.
I was tired. I was frustrated. I was down. I was angry. I was cynical.
I vented to the empty seat in my car and my shifting knob. As it turns out, they’re excellent listeners but terrible talkers. It was another day that I found myself driving around town and looking for some reason to believe in a faith that was surrounded by dying and angry people. Yet another day to question what kind of faith it was that dwelled among the dead, dying, grieving, and suffering and was lampooned on both sides both for having faith and for not having the right faith. I drove for a while and really wondered why it was that I persisted in a faith like this.
I looked out the window and saw a church and shook my head. People going in and out and lauging and talking. They were happy but, surely, they didn’t dwell with the dead. Would their faith hold when they left that building? How many of them were producing some false outward appearance because it just was the thing you were supposed to do. I scoffed and cynically wondered, aloud to myself, “Why do I do this?”
There was a small red neon sign. It read: “Jesus still saves.”
It hit me that I did all this because my faith included an earnest hope in the redemption of all of us. My faith led me to dwell with death because we are being redeemed from the curse that brings our death. Though the corruption of humanity must stink in our noses daily, I was supposed to be offering hope of real and true redemption. Wasn’t this my message?
Yes, you’re dying but Jesus has overcome death. Yes, you’re sick but Jesus has overcome the decay and corruption of your body. Yes, you’re suffering but Jesus is redeeming the world that causes your suffering. Yes, you’re grieving but Jesus is undoing grief and its causes. Yes, you’re broken but Jesus is fixing us.
Yes, you’re cursed but Jesus still saves.
I turned around and headed home. I had to get ready to walk through the valley of the shadow of Death and proclaim the good news of the Kingdom of God: Our corruption is overcome by God’s goodness. Much is broken but all is being set right. I had another shift next morning.